


If I Ain’t Got You

by Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)



Series: Everything I wanted [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Lots of Love and Support, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26514892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Succubusphan/pseuds/Nefertiti1052
Summary: Phil wakes up feeling particularly fond for Dan and all the growth he’s done. A lazy morning talk about the future.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: Everything I wanted [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933552
Comments: 14
Kudos: 40





	If I Ain’t Got You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chiridotalaevis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiridotalaevis/gifts).



Phil came to his senses slowly, his mind starting to really focus on his surroundings a bit more with every passing second as he finally started to wake. He looked to the left and saw one of his favourite images; Dan fast asleep, his lips slightly parted and soft snores coming from his nose. The warmth radiated from him in waves, comforting Phil, attracting him - like a moth to the flame; he rolled over and settled his face on Dan’s chest, running his fingers softly over his sternum. 

The sunlight filtered through the blinds, giving Dan’s skin that beautiful golden sheen that brought Phil’s mind right back to Portugal and Jamaica and so many other places where their relationship had really blossomed. 

  
  


When they first met Dan was merely growing into the person he would become, and he struggled. He struggled so much - to be patient with himself, to be confident, to love himself. But he never struggled to love Phil. All the love Dan poured onto him, Phil tried to return to him as a boyfriend, and a friend. He tried his best to be there for Dan through his rough patches and make him see how amazing he was. It took some time, but with love and therapy and patience, he eventually got there. 

Phil was so proud of Dan’s growth; of how hard he worked to get to where he is now and how much he keeps working on being better. Not a day went by without him being thankful for having Dan in his life. 

Sometimes… sometimes he wished he could go back in time and do it all again. Fall in love again, go on adventures and actually have some time to themselves like they did back then.

Phil ran his hand on Dan’s cheek softly, barely gracing the skin with the tips of his fingers. A small smile appeared on Dan’s lips but he didn’t stir in his sleep. Phil smiled too. This time he buried his fingers in Dan’s messy curls with more purpose and massaged his scalp. 

Phil’s smile grew at the lack of response of his boyfriend. He poked Dan’s dimple instead, finally causing him to open one eye disapprovingly, but that fond smile gave his true feeling away. 

“Good morning, sleepy head.” Phil said.

“Good morning,” Dan mumbled drowsily. He looked to the window, realizing that the sun was fully out. “What time is it?” 

Phil grabbed his phone from under his pillow. “Mmm, 10:30.” He locked the screen and set it back in its place, finally returning to his own side of the bed.

Dan pouted. “Ugh, I don’t want to get up. I don’t want the day to start yet.”

“I think the day has started without us,” Phil booped Dan’s nose, causing him to snort.

Dan sighed and checked his phone, his smile faltering as he checked his notifications. 

Phil bit his lip pensively. He needed to breach the topic. “Dan?”

“Hmm?” Dan asked, his eyes still glued to his phone and a frown slowly making an appearance.

“What’s going on?” he asked, finally getting Dan’s attention. “In here,” he finished, running his fingers on Dan’s forehead, trying to smooth out the worry lines.

“It’s just that… do you ever feel like you want to leave everything behind?”

Phil raised his eyebrows. “Do you?”

“No, yes. I don’t know,” Dan sighed. “Maybe.”

Phil smiled softly and brought Dan's hand to his lips, pressing a little kiss on it. “If that’s what you want, you can do it. _We_ can do it.”

“I don’t know if it’s what I want. I love what we do, but…”

“But?”

“I want to start a new chapter in my life; I’m ready to move on.” Dan laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. “Sometimes I feel like there’s so much I want to tell, to talk about. And sometimes I feel like I don’t even know who I am. You know?” He finally looked back to Phil.

“Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Why don’t you take some time off, to figure that out?”

Dan snorted. “Is that even allowed?”

“Yeah, I think we should focus more on us, as a couple and as people.”

“What about all of our projects?” 

“We’ll postpone them until we are ready to come back.” 

“What if there is nothing to come back to? What if everyone hates us?”

Phil knew what Dan meant. ‘What if everyone hates _me_.’ “They won’t. People love you. Maybe then you will feel ready to tell your story.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Dan chewed on his lip. “Will you still be here when I’m done with my soul searching?”

“I will, you know I will.” 

“Yeah, but I wanted to hear you say it.” 

“Onto the next chapter then?” Phil smiled encouragely.

“Yeah.” Dan rolled towards Phil and cuddled up to him, burying his face into his neck. He grabbed onto Phil’s hand, bringing them up and lacing their fingers together. “Onto the next chapter.” This time he said it confidently, he said it with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for @quercussp. Thanks for being so awesome! And thank you to @schnaf @dprssdbtwlldrssd and @hiwatari for reading it and providing opinions.
> 
> This is an accompanying piece to an upcoming fic from Dan’s perspective (to be posted in a few days). A prequel of sorts. 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: [Succubusphan](http://Succubusphan.tumblr.com/)
> 
> In case you wish to reblog the fic: [Tumblr Link](https://succubusphan.tumblr.com/post/629532720284958720/if-i-aint-got-you)
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!!!!


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